Updated: Aug 31, 2020
Are you happy with who you are?
Triggering question, I know. Its the kind of question to which I reply “What do you mean?” several times so I can think of a way to change the subject or a joke to diffuse the overwhelming tension. Someone asked me this a few months ago and I couldn’t find the words to respond. Not because I didn’t know the answer, but instead because I knew it instantly.
No. I didn’t like who I was. I was all too aware of the faults of my character, yet I ignored my responsibility to fully acknowledge them. This crushing realisation forced me to make some promises to myself. I vowed to start living up to my own potential. To start making myself proud. To start living my truth.
We have often yawned at the cliché: ‘Love makes the world go round’. Yet, it’s true. Love is the binding agent that holds the entire universe together. Many of us place conditions on our love and, specifically, we wont love ourselves until we lose, or put on, the weight, or get the job, or get the raise, or the boyfriend, or whatever. But we can love ourselves as we are right now! Self-love does not imply vanity or narcissism. Many try to conflate these concepts to deter others from reaching a point of self love and, sadly, it is effective. A barricade of people claiming you’re “too vain” or “stuck up” when you are merely content with yourself and don’t require praise and accolades in return can be enough to break you.
I say, live with integrity. If you promise yourself that you’re going to work harder this month, or raise your standards next week, stick to it! You were not created to feel worthless. Demand respect from others, but mainly yourself! Demand appreciation and acknowledgement when it is due to you. Romanticize yourself. You are a masterpiece, even if still a work-in-progress. Be your biggest cheerleader and a fan all in one. You are absolutely killing it!
However, self love isn’t just bubble baths & sensationalism. It is also recognising your own problems, owning up to your issues, accepting your flaws, & encouraging yourself to do better. First and foremost, bitterness will corrupt a heart of gold. It is always easier said than done to let go of hurt, and negativity but you can never flourish if you do not forgive first. “That’s just how I am” is a poor excuse for negative behaviour. Be accountable and be aware. No one is going to spoon feed you the tools of excellence; it is your responsibility to go out there and find your path. All the best!
Through my own personal journey of development, I found that self-love is not a destination; it’s a practice. Self-love is the foundation upon which we build a prosperous life and other meaningful relationships.
In a society that profits from your self doubt, loving yourself is rare, even rebellious…Viva la rebellion!